I once got into a heated discussion with an advertising executive, who told me that if a commercial smells, it sells.
In other words, the more obnoxious an ad is, the more it will be remembered. Does Dealin’ Doug come to anyone’s mind? Dressed in a Superman costume, Dealin’ Doug shouts at you as though you are an idiot: “We’ll sell you a Ford, Dodge, Isuzu, Nissan, Chevrolet, Studebaker or John Deere tractor at below dealer cost. We’re losing money on every sale, but that doesn’t matter to us, we have the brains of a cheese doodle. We have to make room for more cars so we can lose more money.”
The minute I hear one of these screaming car dealership clowns come on the radio or TV, I change the station. I would rather watch a test pattern, listen to static or ‘Muskrat Love,’ one of the worst songs ever written.
Some commercials are not only obnoxious, they are on television 50 times a day. I don’t want to know about Joe Theismann’s aging prostate or how many times he goes wee-wee during the night. I don’t care if you can get a free bottle of a prostate health medicine Beta-Sitosterol, which has a name that sounds like the last fraternity on campus row.
I also don’t want Montel Williams telling me where I can get a $1,000 loan within 24 hours at loan shark interest rates.
Another commercial that sets me off on a rant is the Joan Lunden commercial for a senior assisted living service called A Place for Mom. What about a place for ol’ dad, for crying out loud?
I would rather advertisers didn’t repeat the phone number to call four consecutive times and stress that I have to call NOW!!!
Am I being too demanding?
I don’t think so.
I also don’t want to hear about a miracle drug that has worse possible side effects than the medical problem it is supposed to treat.
Whatever happened to the clever commercials or the few that made you laugh and, as a result, feel better?
No matter how much people hate these smelly ads, some advertiser will always say, “They helped sell a lot of products.”
Yes, and the Unabomber had perfect penmanship in his letter bombs. But that doesn’t make it right.
Except for this splitting headache, I feel better getting this rant off my chest. I think I’ll take a lemon fresh, Extra Strength Advil with added plaque fighters for whiter teeth and fresher breath.
If you don’t agree, I’ll stand by my money-back guarantee or at least give you the column at below dealer cost. DILLY – DILLY