People Hiding Out
by Carol Dunn
HUERFANO- Earlier this week I helped a stranger find the residence of one of my neighbors. I actually had to talk her through the directions on my cell phone while she was driving. She asked me, “Why would ANYONE live out in the middle of nowhere like this?” After you’ve lived here a while, you discover that there are a LOT of people living in Huerfano County that DON’T WANT to be found. This is a great place to hide.
I’m not sure how many hardened criminals we have for neighbors. I’m talking about people who have committed crimes like tearing those “Do not remove under penalty of law” tags off pillows. Then there are people who kind of drift through stop signs. And people who don’t YIELD. Oh yeah, and how about the renegades who cut the tags off the hair dryers that tell you not to dry your hair while in the bathtub or while you are sleeping. These are dangerous people, and they need to be kept away from the rest of society. Which is basically the same as living in Huerfano County.
Hey, I’m not complaining Marvin. There is something delightfully exciting about sequestering yourself away from “them” – them being the rest of the world, where movie tickets cost $12 and someone tells you where you can and cannot park your boat trailer. Are we a little bit rebellious here in HC? You bet we are. It is the undercurrent of gooey kinship that binds us together as a community. It’s the derring-do of the cook who doesn’t use a candy thermometer and the audacity of the citizen who bends, folds, staples AND mutilates their census form before they return it.
I’m not too worried about it. Everyone has a few skeletons in their closet – or bats in their belfry. Alas, I am on the run too. Once, when I was young and foolish, I actually cut a “Not to be removed except by consumer” tag off a mattress which I had not consumed. I know. I know. I should have known better. These days, I don’t even touch those warning tags. And for those of you who are thinking, “I’m not a renegade,” let me ask this. When’s the last time you read one of those instruction booklets that says “Read all instructions completely before using your new _____.”? I rest my case.
If you want a good laugh or two, see the website: www.rinkworks.com/
said/warnings.shtml. Honestly it’s hard to believe some of these warnings are real. But then again, truth is sometimes stranger than fiction.