Foxes
by Carol Dunn
HUERFANO- There sure are a lot of foxes in these parts. Some people think they are cute and cuddly (those are the people who have never raised chickens), and some people think they are lunatic killers (those are the people who have raised chickens).
Rumor has it that one Huerfano household is feeding wieners to foxes at 5:00 pm every day. The neighbors swear that the foxes have learned to tell time, because at precisely 5:00 pm they start gathering in for the wiener-fest. This may or may not bode well for the neighborhood cats. Either the wieners are mere appetizers for the foxes, and they will be looking around for the main course later that night. Or the wieners fill them up so well that they just go snuggle up under a bush and sleep the rest of the night. Only the cats and chickens know for sure.
Now some people don’t believe that a fox will eat a cat. But then there are people who don’t believe that adobe bugs are cannibalistic either. I looked this up on Buzzle.com, and they said that “foxes feed on rodents, worms, insects, birds and all types of relatively smaller sized animals.” What else might that be besides cats and Chihuahuas? Well, ok, there’s one more kind of small animal you’d have to look out for in the wiener-fest neighborhood. And that would be wiener-dogs. If foxes really are as sly as everyone says, they know when a dog looks like a wiener. I don’t think I would be letting my wiener-dog outside around 5 pm, if you know what I mean.
There is one good way to get rid of the foxes, especially those that have a “Recommended Daily Allowance” of wieners. Remember the story of the Pied Piper? He piped on his flute, and the rats followed him out of Town and over to the movie set of “Ben.”
Well, the Board of Elected Officials could rent the Oscar Meyer Wienermobile and drive it through Town at 5 pm, and all the foxes would think they died and went to heaven. A GIANT WIENER! Of course they would all chase after it looking for that one big score, and the Wienermobile pilot could just drive on up to Boulder or somewhere there are lots of animal rights activists. And the foxes could live happily ever after there, and the cats could live happily ever after in Huerfano County. Well, it’s one idea.
